Dearest Ron
by BelindaBlackfalcon
Summary: Hermione commits suicide and leaves a letter for Ron. Please read and review! ;)


Dearest Ron,  
  
When you are reading this, I should be dead now. I'm sorry for causing so much trouble and pain. I'm sure you would want to know why I commited suicide. This is the reason, the Death Eaters are not yet dead. Yes, Voldemort is dead. (You should learn how to say his name now) But his minions now are attacking muggle borns, like me. Not only muggle borns, whoever who is related to them.   
  
Harry is safe, they're scared of Harry since he defeated Voldemort. But not you. You should now get what I'm trying to say. Well, although they know that we are all best friends, they will not harm the person's friends if the person dies to anything else other than a planned death by a Death Eater. I know you think that it is pretty stupid thing to do for a woman like me. But I did that because I still love you. Romantically.  
  
I loved you first when I was in the fourth year although we keep 'bickering' as Harry used to say.   
  
I loved you when I went to the Yule Ball with Viktor but that was when he asked me first.   
  
I loved you when I first kissed you on the cheek on the fifth year.  
  
I loved you when you finally admitted you liked me on the sixth year, where we started dating. I remember every single date.  
  
*  
  
"Hermione, wait! I have got something to tell you..." said Ron, nervously. Harry looked at him, nodded and walked to their next class.  
  
"Yes?" Hermione turned to Ron.  
  
"I... Uh... I really like you" he stuttered lamely."and I want to..." But that sentence was just enough for Hermione she kissed Ron. He kissed back.  
  
*  
  
I loved you when you broke up with me in our seventh year, when I had to pretend it had no affect on me.  
  
*  
  
"Hermione, I don't think we can be together anymore." said Ron. "It's complicated.  
  
"I know." Hermione pointed out, her heart breaking. "It's obvious... The way you look at Lavender."  
  
"We're still cool?" asked Ron hopefully.  
  
"Of course!" Hermione said, plastering a fake smile. "Up for another round of Wizard Chess before Harry comes back from his date with Ginny?"  
  
*  
  
I loved you when you started dating Lavender a month later and broke my heart the second time.  
  
*  
  
"Ron, I heard that you were dating Lavender." stated Harry, looking suspiciously at Ron. "Is it true?"  
  
"Um.. Yeah." said Ron, bright red.  
  
Harry gave Hermione a concerned look and began to pry details from Ron.  
  
*  
  
I loved you when Harry, you and I were fighting Voldemort.  
  
*  
  
"AVADA KEDAVRA!!!"  
  
"Harry!" Hermione screamed, examining Ron's injuries.  
  
Harry managed to jump in front of a mirror lying on a slimy wall of the Chamber Of Secrets and jumped away again before the curse hit him. The Avada Kedavra curse reflected back at Voldemort. Years of being a seeker really paid off.  
  
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!" he screamed. His spirit, if he has one, began to float away, looking for another body to posses.  
  
Hermione shouted a spell that suddenly appeared in her head and Voldemort evaporated.  
  
"He's finally..." said Harry dumbfounded. "Defeated."  
  
"Yes!!!!" screamed Hermione happily.  
  
They began to cry tears of joy and hugged each other.  
  
"Wait," said Hermione. "Ron!"  
  
They rushed to Ron, who was unconcious and brought him to the Hospital Wing  
  
*  
  
I loved you when Harry, you and I became a full-fledged auror. I cheered you on and congratulated you.  
  
*  
  
"WE ARE AURORS!!!!" cried Ron. "Lavender, did you hear that? Harry, Hermione and I ARE Aurors!!!!"  
  
Lavender smilled and put a kiss on him lips. Hermione just smilled bitterly while Harry kept sneaking concerned glances to Hermione  
  
*  
  
I loved you when you had arguments with Lavender. I gave you advice.  
  
*  
  
"I don't know why she always acts like that!" complained Ron. "Sometimes she just gets on my nerves. Once in a while she reminds me of how handsome her old boyfriends were and how perfect they accomplished something!"  
  
Hermione sighed. "Didn't I tell Harry about it when we were fifth years?" she raked her hands through her hair. "Some females tend to remind they're boyfriends or something if you don't treat them properly, they'll leave you or something!"  
  
"Gee," said Ron, scratching his head. "You know what. Girls are confusing. Luckily you're not like those girls."  
  
'I am sometimes.' thought Hermione sadly, as she plastered a fake smile on her face, 'You just don't understand me like you used to. You'll never see me the way you see Lavender. No matter how hard I try to make you notice.'  
  
*  
  
I loved you although I knew you would never love me back.  
  
*  
  
"You're my best friend you know Hermione!" said Ron happily. "You are the only female I know other than Harry's fans and Lavender that never ever talk to me without trying to seduce me or something!"  
  
Hermione just smiled weakly.  
  
*  
  
I loved you when Lavender became my housemate and best friend who kept saying how wonderful you are. Yes, you are wonderful.  
  
*  
  
"Ron is sooooooooo.... GREAT!" said Lavender, happily. "He's the best! It's a pity you can't find anyone alse like him!"  
  
"Yeah, it's a pity." said Hermione, with a fake smile. She was getting really good at that. Always plastering fake smiles and so.  
  
'Because there's no other guy that's so perfect. Ron is the only one that is perfect...'  
  
*  
  
I loved you when you told me that you wanted to tell me that you were going to propose Lavender.  
  
*  
  
"Hermione... You know I've been with Lavender for a long time..." said Ron nervously. "I- I'm going to propose to her..."  
  
"WOW!" cried Hermione, as she had another fake smile but this was harder to hold up. Tears were threathening to pour from her glitsening eyes. "Finally! It's been about almost four years since you've been dating. And that's a REALLY long time! I hope all goes well!!!"  
  
"Thanks Hermione." said Ron happily at Hermione's support, oblivious to her tears in her eyes. "You have no idea how much it means to me!"  
  
'I hope you're happy Ron... I'll do anything for you to be happy... Even go through your wedding'  
  
*  
  
I loved you when Harry shouted at you, declared my true feelings and I declined it.  
  
*  
  
"What's this I heard about you getting married with Lavender?" asked Harry curiously.  
  
"Well," began Ron, his eyes dancing with joy. "Whatever you heard was true. Lavender and I are getting married."  
  
"Oh, really..." said Harry, mockingly. "So you've forgotten about your best friend and went to get married, did you?"  
  
"What?" asked Ron, shocked. "I don't understand. I did not get jealous of you or say anything like this when YOU got married!"  
  
"I'm not jealous of you." Harry said, folding his arms. "I was talking about of female addition of the famos trio, Ron. Hermione."  
  
Hermione who was determinedly trying to finish her report without getting distracted by Ron or Harry arguing turned her head towards Harry's direction.   
  
"WHAT?" she asked, surprised, hoping that Harry wasn't going to reveal her feelings. "I don't have any idea what you're talking about. I don't think I'm any obstacle for anyone's marriage!"  
  
"Hermione," said Harry, annoyed. "You have been in love with Ron for like what? Seven years!"  
  
"Harry..." started Hermione but thought the better of it. "Harry, just... Leave me out of this!"  
  
Hermione walked out of the room, leaving the two best friends to deal with each other.  
  
*  
  
I loved you when you and Lavender ignored me for a month eventhough I declined to have any feelings to you.  
  
*  
  
"Hermione, do you know...." began Ron but kept quiet when Lavender nudged him.  
  
"Ignore her," whispered Lavender but Hermione heard.  
  
*  
  
I loved you when you and Lavender finally forgave me.  
  
*  
  
"Hermione," started Lavender.  
  
"What now?" interrupted Hermione bitterly. "After ignoring me for a month, now you're going to insult me? I thought we were friends!"  
  
"Look Hermione!" Lavender said angrily. "Excuse me, but I have a right to do what I did after Harry confessed your feelings! I am getting married to Ron! I have a right to be jealous! I know now that you don't love him in a not friendly way! I'm sorry, okay???"  
  
"I'm..." Hermione stammered, she had not expected this. "I'm sorry too..."  
  
The two best friends embraced.  
  
*  
  
I loved you when Lavender became to have jealousy over our relationship. Although, we were just friends.  
  
*  
  
Hermione heard someone arguing in the kitchen. She peeped at the door which was ajar to investigate.  
  
"Ron! Hermione and you are always together! I didn't even get a chance to see you before work today!" cried Lavender angrily.  
  
"We. Are. Just. Friends." said Ron a matter of factly. "We just fought last week because of this. And I agreed to ignore here. Now you're getting jealous again."  
  
"For heaven sakes, Ron!" Lavender shouted. "Friends or even best friends don't spend so much time together!"  
  
That was it, it was all she could bear. Hermione ran to her bedroom for a good cry.  
  
*  
  
I loved you when you and Lavender planned the wedding ceremony with me.  
  
*  
  
"Lets see... What shall I choose?" murmured Lavender. "Decisions... Decisions..."  
  
"Here," said Hermione as happily as she could and tossed a magazine which featured a beautiful bridal gown on it. "It'll look great on you!"  
  
Lavender squealed. "Wow," she gasped. "Hermione! You've got taste! It's perfect!"  
  
*  
  
I loved you when Harry came and tried to comfort me together with Ginny, who knew how I felt.  
  
*  
  
"Hermione." it was Harry's voice.  
  
Rap. Rap.  
  
"Hermione???" this time it was Ginny.  
  
"GO AWAY!" screamed Hermione, sobbing.  
  
"Hermione, we know it is a hard time for you. We understand..." began Ginny.  
  
"No!" shouted Hermione. "You don't understand! Not one bit! Both of you had happily ever afters! I did not! Go away!!!"  
  
"Come on, Ginny." said Harry quietly. "In times like this, it's best to leave her alone."  
  
Hermione began to cry on her pillow which was damp with her tears again.  
  
*  
  
I loved you when you held your first child, Harry. Named after Harry. He was beautiful.  
  
*  
  
"He's so adorable!" Hermione said touching Harry's (jr.) cheek.  
  
"Like his father..." said Lavender weakly.  
  
Ron held Harry (jr.) as if he was the most fragile thing on earth.  
  
'He is so happy...' thought Hermione, with a smile. 'Too bad it wasn't me who gave him that happiness...'  
  
*  
  
I loved you when I wanted to tell Harry my idea about suiciding who was getting married with Ginny. I didn't. He didn't deserve to suffer.  
  
Now, I love you when I'm writing this letter. I will always love you. I love Harry too but not the way I love you. I know you named me godmother to Harry but now you have to choose another person for this job. I hope you and Lavender will always be happy together. I also know you have no financial probelms but the deed was done. I divided my gold in my vaults in Gringotts to Harry and you. Since my parents were murdered, I guess I could only give it to you and Harry as I have no magical relatives.  
  
I know that I don't deserve you. You are and were too special for me. Although Harry was the one who was the hero, the one who got the tittle for eveything, you were the one I fell for. Lavender may not be the best person in the world but both of you are perfect for each other. Never ever think that is your fault that I am dead. You are not the only reason. I just can't stand staying here anymore. My life has grown dull and devoid of emotion. I felt that I was merely existing. And it was not only that.  
  
I had murdered someone.  
  
Someone innocent.   
  
Draco Malfoy.  
  
I know you always assured me that it wasn't my fault that he died. But I think it is.   
  
I'm the one who sent his father to Azkaban.  
  
I'm the one who stripped whatever possesions that they had.  
  
I'm the one who got the reward for doing it. Everytime I look at my money, I feel extremely guilty.  
  
I'm the one who had to bring his mother to St. Mungo's when we found out his mother was abusing him.  
  
Although that was the truth, I felt I was doing something terribly wrong.  
  
I destroyed his life.  
  
The guilt I'm feeling now is incredible. All these things made him go insane. And led him to suicide. If I don't leave soon, I'll go crazy soon. I know you guys will never miss me. I was the third wheel. You and Harry were insperable. The popular duo. I was just... Smart. That's all. You were the one that Harry missed the most in the fourth task. He was the one that you sacrificed yourself for. Yes, I know that you are both straight.   
  
And Lavender, if you're reading this although this letter is for Ron, I'm sorry. I really am. Your husband is really incredible. I can't help it. Well, now you have him for yourself don't you? You can burn this letter up when you're done and my belongings. It'll help Ron forget me.  
  
Not only that, Ron, I want you to forget me. Forget who I was. Forget everything about me and live your life together with Harry (junior) and Lavender, not forgetting Yvonne, your daughter. Although I know its hard to do so, I hope you will do as I said. I love you, always and forever.  
  
Eventhough I know I can't be with you in flesh, I'm always with you Ron, in spirit. Goodbye Ron....  
  
*************  
  
A/N:There will be a sequel if I have enough reviews for encouragement!!! Don't worry, the sequel's ending is R/Hr!!! Confused? GOOD! ANd lets say the memory of Lavender and Ron getting married was too painful for her to recall.  
  
Please e-mail me and tell me what you think about this story! If you think it isn't R/Hr, you are wrong. COMPLETELY wrong. 


End file.
